CHAPTER
THE PROBLEMS
You’re justly proud of your essay, “Points and Pointers: Sticklebacks as Pets.” You’ve done a pretty good job with the topic, you think, and you’re pleased with the results. It turns out that your instructor agrees with your that you’ve done a pretty good job with the topic; however, you notice that your instructor isn’t pleased with these sentences:
- Olaf reminded Edwin that it was his turn to feed the stickleback.
- In the example of this case, it shows how careful owners must be in caring for pets.
- However, with proper care, sticklebacks don’t require much work at all; this makes owning these pets rewarding.
- In the end, well cared for sticklebacks are a joy, which is yet another reason to consider adopting one or even several.
- They say that caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
- A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry your stickleback’s bowl.
You reread the sentences, scratch your head, and wonder, “What’s wrong?” Let’s see if we can figure that out.
WHAT REFERENTS ARE AND HOW THEY WORK
In order to understand referents, you’ll need to recall that a pronoun takes the place of a noun, and that pronouns have person (first, second, third), gender (masculine, feminine, neuter), and number (singular or plural).
Now, when in a sentence a pronoun draws attention to the noun the place of which it takes – this noun / these nouns will typically be to the left of the pronoun – the noun is called the referent, that is, what the pronoun is referring to. For example, in this sentence
- Olaf agreed that it was his turn to feed the stickleback.
“his” is the pronoun, and “Olaf” is the referent. This sentence makes clear that “his” refers to “Olaf,” yes? Even in a sentences like these,
- Olaf reminded Edwina that it was his turn to feed the stickleback.
- Olaf reminded Edwina that it was her turn to feed the stickleback.
we’re not likely to become confused even though we have two potential referents (Olaf and Edwina). In the first sentence, it’s clear that “his” (third person, masculine, singular) refers to Olaf; in the second “her” refers to Edwina (third person feminine, singular).
So what do you do to avoid referent errors?
THE SOLUTIONS
You can generally avoid referent errors simply by revising or even rewriting your sentence to make clear which pronoun is referring to which noun.
Let’s see how you might do this.
First, you’ll do well to remember a basic idea, and that is that in English, a pronoun refers to the noun nearest to it. To go back to our first sentence above,
- Problem: Olaf reminded Edwin that it was his turn to feed the stickleback.
the “his” should mean “Edwin,” as that’s the nearest noun. But even if this is exactly what you meant – that is, that the “his” refers to Edwin – your audience may nonetheless still be confused. However, the solution is straightforward:
- Solution 01: Olaf reminded Edwin that it was Edwin’s [own] turn to feed the stickleback.
If, on the other hand, the sentence is supposed to say that it was Olaf’s turn and not Edwin’s, then you would revise the sentence as follows:
- Solution 02: Olaf reminded Edwin that it was Olaf’s [own] turn to feed the stickleback.
(Note that, in order to be particularly clear, you might add “own” to reinforce the distinction that you’re trying to draw.)
Now, what about this sentence?
- Problem: In the example of this case, it shows how careful owners must be in caring for pets.
We have a pronoun, “it” – but what is “it” referring to – case? example? something else? So is the sentence stating, “In the example of this case, the example of this case is showing…”? Doesn’t that seem…off, somehow? Again, though, the solution is straightforward: You simply revise to make clear the referent clear:
- Solution: This case shows how careful owners must be in caring for pets.
This kind of error is especially common, in part because English (like many languages) has set expressions using “it,” involving weather (it is raining, snowing, storming, sunny, and the like), or need (it is necessary, important, vital, desirable, and the like), and others. In these expressions, the “it” doesn’t really refer to anything and thus isn’t so much a pronoun as a placeholder for a subject. (We see something similar in phrases using “there,” as in “there is / are”). Thus, the ‘it” in these sentences isn’t a referent error.
However, you’ll want to be careful that, in your own sentences, you can identify – and spell out! – exactly what the “it” is referring to!
We see a similar problem in this sentence:
- Problem: However, with proper care, sticklebacks don’t require much work at all; this makes owning these pets rewarding.
Of the two pronouns in this sentence, the second, “these,” clearly goes with “pets,” and so we don’t have a problem. But “this”? “This”…what? This work? That’s the nearest noun, yes? Does this sentence mean “This work makes owning these pets rewarding”? But isn’t the sentence saying exactly the opposite – that the pets aren’t work?
What’s going on here is that the “this” is trying to do too much: It’s trying to take the place of the entire phrase “[the fact that] sticklebacks don’t require much work at all.” Remember the basic definition of a pronoun: A pronoun takes the place of a noun – not “a pronoun can stand in for whatever, and however much, happens to be to the left of it”! The solution? As above: spell out what you mean:
- Solution: However, with proper care, sticklebacks don’t require much work at all; this ease makes owing these pets rewarding.
We should note that this is only one – though probably the easiest – of several ways that you might rework the sentence to make your meaning clear.
How about
- Problem: In the end, well cared for sticklebacks are a joy, which is yet another reason to consider adopting one or even several.
To what is “which” referring – end? sticklebacks? joy? all of these? none of these?
- Solution 01: In the end, well cared for sticklebacks are a joy, which advantage is yet another reason to consider adopting one or even several.
If this sentence seems “stuffy” to you – overly formal and thus off-putting or stilted – then you might rewrite the sentence in any of a number of other ways:
- Solution 02: In the end, well cared for sticklebacks are a joy, and this advantage is yet another reason to consider adopting one or even several.
- Solution 03: In the end, well cared for sticklebacks are a joy and are yet another reason to consider adopting one or even several.
The point is, of course, to end up with a correct sentence! And these sentences?
- Problem: They say that caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
Who’s “they”? Referents, we note above, tend to be the left of the pronoun. What’s to the left of “they”? You might find variations of this problem, as follows:
- Problem: People say that caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
- Problem: Everyone says that caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
In all the other sentences above, while the referent is ambiguous, at least there is one; in these sentences, we have no referent at all! What to do?
- Solution 01: Collectors say that caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
We’ve simply replaced the pronoun with a logical noun; we might also use “pet shop owners” or “enthusiasts” or “veterinarians” or even “ichthyologists.” Or we might take another approach:
- Solution 02: Caring for exotic pets like sticklebacks is quite time consuming.
Here, we’ve simply gotten rid of the problem entirely!
The final problem is related to that which we’ve just looked at. Can you see why?
- Problem: A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry your stickleback’s bowl.
Did you catch that the “you” is the problem because it doesn’t refer to anything in the sentence itself? Moreover, who, exactly, is this “you” – readers? you yourself? anyone? everyone? Doesn’t the sentence have a slightly different meaning for each of these choices? Consider: Are “A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to clean my room” and “A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to clean anyone’s room” expressing exactly the same idea? Let’s look at a some solutions.
The first is the easiest: Simply specify what you mean, as above:
- Solution 01: A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry my stickleback’s bowl.
A leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry any stickleback’s bowl.
To make your point even clearer, you could even revise the sentence:
- Solution 02: I have found that a leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry my stickleback’s bowl.
Many busy college students agree that a leaf blower is a handy but somewhat loud way to dry out their stickleback’s bowl.
This error – the use of “you” – is notoriously hard to avoid in writing because we use this pronoun so often in conversation. However, remember that how you speak isn’t always how you (should) write because speaking gives you the opportunity for you to explain yourself to your audience, whereas writing doesn’t. In fact, it’s for this very reason that nearly all college instructors urge their students to avoid “you,” at least in formal writing.
A final bit of advice: Whenever you proofread your essay, ask yourself: Is it clear to me – and to any reader – exactly what nouns my pronouns are referring to?
ANALOGY
To help you to understand referents are a problem, you might consider the matter in this way.
Imagine that you’ve just bought a pastry shop where you’ll be the baker as well. Imagine that it’s your first day of business as well. You’ve gotten up early to prepare all the delicious treats: You’ve mixed and baked and decorated and arranged, and how your display cases are filled with dozens – literally! – of croissants, cookies, muffins and the like of every kind and size. Nervous, but in a good, excited way, you unlock the front door of the shop, turn the sign that says “CLOSED” to “OPEN,” make sure that your apron is clean, and take up your position behind the counter.
Sure enough, just a short while later, in comes your first customer, as eager for a breakfast bite as you are to sell it. “Wow,” says the customer, eyeing the impressive array of choices. “Everything looks so good. Can you help me to decide? What’s your favorite – what would you recommend?”
“Easy!” you, pleased to be consulted, smile and reply. “Those.” You look right at the customer. “Those are my favorite.” Confused, the customer repeats, “ Those’? ‘Those’…what?”
“You know – those! My favorites. I think that you’ll really like those!”
The customer, now thoroughly lost, helplessly points to whatever is closest in the nearest case. “Do you mean…those – the prune tarts? …because I must admit that I don’t particularly like prunes in general, and even less in tart form.”
By this point, you’re lost, too: Of course you didn’t mean the prune tarts! You meant the rhubarb pie slices, baked from your grandmother’s recipe and your best-loved treat from childhood on. How could your customer not know that?
Ah – but the real question is, How could your customer know that – given the lack of information that you provided?
This is pretty much exactly what happens in your writing when your referents aren’t clear. You’re the baker, and your reader is the customer. Of course you know what you mean when you write – but that doesn’t mean that your reader will. Your reader may end up confused, or your reader may have to guess, which opens the possibility of guessing wrong. Either case is likely to end up with frustration on the part of the reader – whom, after all, you want to persuade.
Now, in our real life scenario (or, well, a scenario that you can readily imagine), you’d be able to explain to your customer exactly what you mean either by describing the rhubarb pie slices, or by pointing to them, or both. You’d also be able to question the customer, to get into a dialogue to help guide the customer’s choice: “Well, what sorts of pastries do you like? Do you want to try something familiar or something new?”
But plainly, in writing you don’t have this chance at dialogue. In fact, writing is your one chance to make as clear as possible, and to as many readers as possible, exactly what you mean. Readers can’t ask you to pause to explain yourself; you can’t pause to explain yourself. You have, so to speak, one shot at being understood. Clear referents help you to do just that: You know what you mean. Readers know what you mean. And both of you are happy with your choice of pastry.
THE BASICS: REFERENTS
- WHAT IS IT? A “referent” is a noun (or anything acting like a noun) that a pronoun indicates in a sentence. This noun generally becomes before the pronoun.
- HOW DO YOU USE IT? As above, a referent is noun. Pronouns, you’ll recall, are personal (I, you, he, she, it, etc.), demonstrative (this, those, etc.), interrogative (who? whose?, etc.), or relative (which, what, that, etc.).
- WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? Referent errors occur whenever it’s unclear what exactly a pronoun is referring to. Thus, in the sentence, “Clyda told Bettina that she was missing a button,” it’s not clear if “she” refers to Bettina or to Clyda. Fortunately, correcting referent errors is generally straightforward: You rewrite the sentence to make it clear, e.g. “Clyda told Bettina that Clyda herself was missing a button.”
EXERCISE
Correct the referent errors in the following sentences by rewriting them.
- For his expedition to the Isle of Man Broderick bought a step ladder and a pith helmet; he said that at only $79.99, it was a bargain.
- Delphine surprised Giovanna with the news that she’d been chosen as the head of the grasshopper painting committee.
- You must be patient when teaching a sloth tricks.
- I ordered the oakleaf salad and the papaya stew, which was more expensive than I’d planned.
- Naturally my mail-order degree in screwdriver repair took a few weeks to arrive, but it was worth the wait.
- The main challenge in organizing a stork marching band is that you must try to keep the storks in formation.
- The day began with driving rain, the relentless wind, and, especially, the frogs falling from the sky, and this made it challenging to see the scavenger hunt through to the end.
- Ivor and Clarke wasted nearly an hour trying to find his pet skink.
- Olga finished early with color-coding the napkins and rearranging the flatware by size, which gave her a great feeling of accomplishment.
- Ambrose insists that when shopping for a new blender, it proves the old saying that forewarned is forearmed.